• Mr. Douglas Teng

Serofox Story #3: A story written by a Year 6 student

Updated: Feb 11

This short story was written by Mirai, a Year 6 student (11 years old) that I have been working with.

I wanted to share this with you to show you what young students are capable of.

We have been working on improving her creative writing and comprehending skills. I have been encouraging her to practice using techniques such as imagery and dialogue to bring her stories to life.


-Mr. Douglas Teng

An Untitled Story

In ancient times, there lived a greedy boy in a poor, desolate village. A boy named Zhang had pitch black hair, a slightly crooked nose and eyes that were as black as coal. Zhang would steal valuables from the villagers, but he was never ever caught. Even though he was an impudent boy, the villagers all thought that he was the smartest and most obedient out of all the children in the village. This allowed him to get away with his crimes.

One day, Zhang was talking to his friend, Wang, discussing about what to steal next. Then suddenly Wang remembered the story about an invisible cloak that a demon owned. This demon lived far up the mountain, away from the village.

“Is this true? I’ve heard rumours about the cloak, but I’ve never believed in it.” Zhang said.

“It is true. I heard my mum talking about it to the other villagers.” Wang blurted.

“Ok, well that might be the thing I steal next.” Zhang chuckled greedily. “Imagine all the things I could steal if I could be invisible.”

“I don’t think you can steal it from the demon. Many others have tried but they have all been beaten back down by the demon.” Wang replied.

After their conversation, Zhang went home thinking up of a plan to steal this invisible cloak. He thought so much that he felt like his head was about the explode with ideas. When he got home he wrote down all of his ideas and picked out the best one. “Perfect.” He thought to himself.

The next day, Zhang went to the bamboo forest which looked like a leafy paradise. The aged bamboo trunks were thick and ancient. Every time Zhang took a step, the dead leaves on the floor would make a loud crunch beneath his feet.

To carry out his plan, Zhang picked out the best bamboo segment he could find and hacked it off, forming a tube. He then carved a beautiful, ornate pattern out on the side. The piece of bamboo now looked like a telescope.

Zhang climbed further up the mountain with this fake telescope to where the demon lived. Perched on a rock, he peered through the telescope and started to yell, “Oh my, I can see a beautiful castle and a rainbow dragon.”, “Oh, look at the mighty battle between the western and the eastern kingdoms!” and “Wow, what wonderful birds in the distance! I have never seen such colours before.”

Suddenly, in the corner of his eye he could see a shadow. Zhang was certain it was the demon, but he ignored it and kept on pretending.

“With this amazing telescope I can see everything!” Zhang exclaimed excitedly. This time, the demon revealed himself to Zhang.

“Hello little boy. Could I please look through that telescope?” the demon asked.

“No, this is my precious treasure. Unless, you have something precious that I could borrow as well.” Zhang replied, hoping that the demon would give him his cloak.

“Ok, if I let you use my precious treasure for a minute, could I look through that telescope for a minute?” the demon tried again.

“What is your precious treasure?” Zhang asked as his eyes lit up.

“It is this cloak. Although it is torn and dusty, it has the power to turn the person wearing the cloak invisible.” Answered the demon.

“Fine. Just for one minute.” Zhang replied as if he didn't care. Though inside his chest his heart was beating like a giant drum.

Before the demon could even look through the telescope, Zhang hastily wrapped the cloak around him and disappeared like a gust of wind. The demon looked as hard as he could but he could see nothing extraordinary through the telescope.

“I have been tricked!” the demon said. However, the demon also had a trick up his sleeve. The cloak he gave to Zhang wasn’t the real invisible cloak. It was also a fake.

Back at the village, Zhang could not wait to use the cloak. So he put on the cloak and sneaked into Wang’s house to steal his mother’s prized tea set. He had been eyeing this tea set for a long time, but never had the chance to steal it until now.

“What is that? Stop right there Zhang!” yelled Wang’s mother in a stern voice. She had caught him in the act, carrying away her tea set from the dining table. “So, it’s been you all along! You’re the thief!” Zhang was pulled out onto the street by his ear and Wang’s mother told everyone the truth. To pay for his crimes, Zhang was humiliated and made to return everything that he had stolen.

From the mountain, the demon watched in satisfaction. He had been watching Zhang for a long time and finally managed to teach him a lesson that he would never forget.

By Mirai Inoue


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